They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
