At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
