y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
