never play flip cup with pint glasses
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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