I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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