K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
