I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
