I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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