just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
