You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
