whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
