it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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