you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
