Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We need a shit load of segways right now
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
