i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
