I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
