I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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