The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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