Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
