he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
