I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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