the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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