i think my mom watched the whole time
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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