we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
