fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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