I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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