It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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