No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize