It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
