Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
