Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
