What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
