Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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