The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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