so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
