he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize