I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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