Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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