i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
