she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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