oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
