new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
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Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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