as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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