Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
it glows. i had to have it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
