i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
