those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
