i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My pussy is not your playground.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
