And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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