Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
