I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
