I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
