And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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