Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
