My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
