Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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