i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
