Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
