I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
