told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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