dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
