Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do vagina's smell?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
